jokes in English

[hend]

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."


Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.


A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.


A: "I was born in California."
B: "Which part?"
A: "All of me."

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I."

Student: I is the ...

Teacher: Stop! Never put "is" after "I." Always put 'am' after "I."

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.



Q: What does a ghost eat for dessert?
A: I scream. (Ice cream)

Q: Where does a ghost mail his letters?
A: At the ghost office. (Post office)

Q: What did the ghost mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards. (Post cards)

Q: What amusement park ride does a ghost like best?
A: The roller ghoster. (Roller coaster)

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

[امل حياتى]

ha ha ha ha
very nice
specially the first one
thanx hend

[Dr.Hammood]

wow

soo good

i liked all of them

thank u very much

[!سها]

hi

It is very funy

thank you

[عسل قليل الدسم]

LOL

I love it

Thnx

[عسل قليل الدسم]

[b] If Hend doesn't mind, I have some beautiful jokes
to add here

?Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water
student: H I J K L M N O
?Teacher: What are you talking about
!!!student : Yesterday you said it's H to O




.My aunt decided not to mention to her husband that it was her fortieth wedding anniversary in the hope that he would surprise her
She was thrilled when my uncle entered the kitchen holding a plastic bag and asked her what the date was. My aunt smiled and told him it was August 21.
“Oh, well,” he shrugged,” the milk is safe enough”.




reading through some applications from people responding to a job advertisement I’d placed in the local paper, I came across one which read: “I’m qualified for this job for three reasons; I have a good memory; I’m good with figures and I have a good memory

Hope you like them

See ya
Low fat honey [/B]

[وردة النيل]

hahaha

nice jokes

thx

[nadamoha]

SOOOO Funnnnny

[بنت فلسطين]

hhhhhhh very funny

thanks all